Good men are providers and protectors
In a society that has been forcing good men to question their place and purpose, one thing remains the same for millennia. Good men are here to be providers and protectors. Men can choose to be neither and live a life as a bachelor who may be dedicated to their career and personal ambitions. Perhaps seeking fulfillment through avenues that don’t include family and children. If a man chooses such a life, he can still lead a virtuous life that leaves a positive impact on the people around him. He shouldn’t be judged as selfish or not contributing to society just like a woman shouldn’t who chooses not to become a wife and mother.
The good men that do become husbands and fathers however need to embrace the fact that they are stepping into the role of provider and protector for their families. It is stamped and hard wired in our DNA as males to risk ourselves in order to protect our wives and children at potentially great personal risk. Even potentially disregarding all common sense and safety in order to do such things. Good men understand this, accept it and willingly seek opportunities to demonstrate their virtuosity as men.
Sacrifice for a greater good
Thousands of years ago men would return to their tribes from a hunt with a slayed animal. Usually at great risk of being attacked by other tribes in competition for resources, hunting grounds and food. Or even potentially attacked or killed in the process of hunting large game through misadventure. Life was difficult, unforgiving and violent at best. As the man in our households, we are justly expected to sacrifice our time, effort and sweat in order to return home with the modern age version of a killed animal, that being a pay check.
Instead of being the best hunter in our tribe, we are now further developed to possess different skills and abilities that make us valuable as men to our families and society. Those skills and abilities come in many forms, yet all come through sacrificing time and energy. Good men are willing to sacrifice their time and energy to better themselves by gaining more knowledge, further develop a skill set and challenge themselves regularly both physically and intellectually. All of these things lead to potentially earning more money so they can provide a higher standard of living for their families.
Good men are able to balance work and life
In this pursuit of more knowledge, skills and resources, good men can will have to find that difficult balance between work and living their lives. Known as a ‘work/life balance’, it’s often common place for men to think their doing the right thing by working harder and longer instead of creating time for other pursuits. These pursuits are obviously their family relationships, but perhaps a selfish interest that feeds their own soul should be encouraged.
Often, good men can fall into the trap of thinking that because they provide so much in the form of money, standard of living or perhaps materialistic items such as cars or toys, they’re good parents or partners. When in fact, the people around us actually want less ‘stuff’ and really just want more of ‘us’. Finding that work/life balance is difficult, and just like a pendulum, it can swing between the two as priorities shift.
Find the time for family
One effective way good men can achieve a good work/life balance is by building time into their schedule or routine on purpose for family or other interests. Often when building a schedule or planning a routine, we can fall into the trap of filling all the gaps with what can only be described as ‘pointless busy work’. Using a color code system in a calendar is a useful way of tracking our time. I personally use different colors to represent various activities. Green is primary work. Blue is personal administration. Red is the side hustle and Yellow is sport. Orange is family time and once it is allocated it stays put and nothing, unless it is actually and really important, gets scheduled over the top.
Good men need to plan to and at times create or find the time for their families. They need to remember that although our wives and children appreciate the financial security and materialistic items our hard work provides, our families actually just want more of what they consider most important. Us.
Good men value their relationships
By planning our work schedules better and giving deeper consideration to our family relationships, good men will start to reap the benefits. Being present to witness our children’s sporting achievements or presentations of awards for academics are just two examples. Taking time out of the day so you can cook a meal for your family and reduce the burden on your wife if she is the primary care provider in the home is something we can all do more of as men who want to demonstrate that we value our relationships.
So in summary, if you’re a man that wants to improve himself, start planning your days and weeks to be more effective. Work harder to more efficient with your time so you can start giving more of it back to the people that support you the most. Your family.