“Integrity is doing the right thing. Even when no one is watching.”
It’s not easy when you find yourself the subject of some else’s deception and attempt at distraction. Especially when you’ve been holding up your end of the bargain. When your integrity or professional ability becomes questioned by others that may be higher in the organisational hierarchy, the twisting anger in the stomach and clenched fists are a natural reaction.
The temptation to go on the attack sits just below the surface and the desire to start laying out the hard truths for all to see seems to be a naturally justified course of action that surely everyone around you would support. However, it’s not the best way forward. Take your time. It’s sweeter in the end.
Carry out the immediate action drill
Moments like this usually arise when your accuser/s have been found to be deficient in their own department and instead of taking responsibility, look for a sacrificial lamb to throw on the alter of deception. This is a short-sighted option that damages relationships and undermines their own integrity. The absolute worst thing you can do in this situation is play into their trap. By giving into your instinctive urges to go on the immediate attack isn’t the way to deal with it. The best way to defend yourself is to let them swim into the deep end where it’s murky with their lies.
The best way to defend yourself is to let them swim into the deep end where it’s murky with their lies.
By keeping your cool and ensuring a calm demeanor you will solidify your reputation as a man that can remain calm and grounded under pressure. The ability to rationally defend yourself and speak to facts calmly will completely help defuse any investigation or suspicion into your performance or actions. Your accusers on the other hand are left with their hollow accusations and the cold truth that you have nothing to answer for. And what’s even better is that this is what people remember.
Why keeping your cool is a good character trait for men
The mark of an emotionally immature man is to let emotions and anger bubble over the edge and start the counter accusations. This is the worst thing you can do as your argument will only be heard and interpreted as a defensive rant. By taking a breath and making the conscious effort to emotionally separate yourself from the issue will show people around you just what a cool and calm guy you are. Reliable under pressure and rational in your judgments and response. These are desirable traits for men to pursue and the people around you will recognise these character traits in you.
Admit when you’re wrong
The other side of this conversation is that if you know you have dropped the ball and done the wrong thing. If that is the case, and occasionally it will be, own it straight away. Take big bites of that shit sandwich and chew it like a man. Weak men avoid taking responsibility for the things they get wrong and seek to deflect and distract. Good men fight the urge down and look further forward than seeking comfort in temporary immediate self-preservation. If you’ve done the wrong thing, say so. And as you take ownership, start the process of explaining how you’re going to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
In summary, keep your cool and play the long game. It’s chess not checkers.